A few random extracts from my day.

#SIM seriously need to do something about its lack of parking lot urgently. Thank God, I am graduating soon. Or maybe not.

#Georgia is just like another typical Singaporean girl who never fails to bore the sh*t out of me. Which makes me realise that at the end of the day, I am still very much in love with Ah Lians who have multiple tattoos on their bodies, converse in Hokkien and smoke a pack a day. But what I cannot stand is their overall simple-mindedness, their inability to collect themselves when faced with hostility and a general lack of concern for current affairs.

#Hence, my theory still holds- in order to see as far as me, the girl beside must be standing on the same level. In other words, my foolish heart ultimately longs for an Ah Lian who has long blonde hair, a dragon tattoo on her right tit and sufficient knowledge to carry out an objective discussion about the United States healthcare reform (in Spanish preferably).

#Which means I am 99.99% sure to die single.

#I was just asked why is my MSN status forever “我很忙”. That is because I hate the sight of seeing “available” next to my name.

#Lately, I have been actively testing out my mentor’s philosophy of challenging yourself to overcome your own mental block, that is, to court a girl you would never court in your lifetime. And in my books, that means courting a girl who looks like Peter Crouch, spots a moustache, tips the scale at two hundred pounds and has HOB (hair on back). And in order to do so, I have been passionately eyeball-raping any female specimen who crosses my eyes, in hope of spotting ‘the one’.

#Unfortunately, she has yet to appear, but on totally unrelated news, I did notice a few rather more intriguing specimen.

#I just had a wonderful dinner with MQ at Lot 1 and I lost court of the number of slutty OL (office ladies) in heels with CFM (come f*ck me) faces.

#MQ asked when I was going to settle down and get myself a nice, decent girl (she just registered her marriage recently while I was in New York).

#My answer: how can I settle down when I have yet to meet that nice, decent girl? And how am I supposed to meet that nice, decent girl when I am not actually looking for her?

#I just got out of my car when I ran into my childhood friend of seventeen years. We last met up before my examinations and we chatted for like five minutes and he told me he just ended his five-year relationship. Apparently, the girl was cheating on him. This is like the third incident I have heard of since I came back from New York.

#Seriously, f*ck the nice, decent girl. She doesn’t f*cking exist.

#Give me Ris Low any day.