How do you usually spend your birthday? Well, I spent it at home this year- where I truly belong. You see, my 21^st birthday was spent among fellow soldiers in the wonderful Negara Brunei Darussalam; 20^th birthday was with a bunch of friends along Orchard Road; 19^th birthday was with my ex-girlfriend at the Istana Park; 18^th birthday was with my other ex-girlfriend (I totally forget where). So, it’s been five years since I have blown out the candles at home in the company of my loved ones. It feels so different, and considering my last birthday, makes me feel so lucky. Treasure your family- they will not be with you forever.

Anyway, on Wednesday, I was out in JB with Les and Ayu. Yeah, you read right- a thrashing-talking Liverpool fanatic, an Arsenal right-wing extremist and a peace-loving Man United fan made the trip across the causeway together. Unbelievable, no? If something happens, I wouldn’t know which one of them to count on. Well, we went for the RM6.00 movie (that is the sole reason why we always plan our trips on Wednesday), which turned out to be a great movie (Flyboys was simply awesome at an equally awesome price). Lunch was McDonald’s- smuggled into the theatres. After that, we walked around, window-shopping (there was no sale- damn), before making our way to Holiday Plaza to get our hair done. First time in my life I got my hair dyed (Don’t you laugh- have you ever had a Mohawk haircut before?) It took two bloody hours, thanks to Leslie’s great Allen Iverson braiding. It turned out like shit anyway- I will make sure my future braiding looks better than his does. Anyway, I thought Ayu looked fine (for a change). I hate my dyed hair– I do not like the feel of it. My original hair was so soft and smooth. I regretted going to the salon. Dinner was at KFC- I have to say it tastes better over on this side of the causeway. We bought some DVDs (Prison Break Season II for me) and we made our way back. Well, just let me say this first- those losers who have never caught Prison Break don’t know what they are missing out on in life. It is so captivating, and it even inspires me to get another tattoo (speaking of which, I am so sorry, A K, that I cannot make it this Saturday- I really wish to have my tattoo done, but I got to work). Wait, I almost forgot- I bought a RM500 painting of Audrey Hepburn. I don’t know why I did it. I was just looking at some movie posters (RM39.90) to decorate my wall. Then I chance upon that particular picture, and I simply cannot take my eyes off it. Damn. But I think it will be money well spent. Anyway, Leslie was asking me and Ayu to go Phuture with him, Ben the man and Ong Bak. But it just didn’t work out in the end.

Ayu proceeded to my house where we spent the night together. Yeah, you read right- together. Initially, we intended to plan our trip to Hong Kong (aka Operation Ayu); however, it became a talk-cock and look-at-music-collection session. It felt good, falling asleep with your good buddy beside you (let me clarify, he is on a mattress on the floor while I was on my bed). We talked about old times before falling asleep. Memories came flooding back…

The next morning, I went to BBDC to book my Advance Theory Test at eight in the morning. It will be on 12^th March. Tell me why should I not be pissed- I have a Brunei Class 3 license and a SAF military Class 3 license- yet I cannot drive legally on the streets. There really is no God.

Went to work today- my colleagues wished me happy birthday and stuff. Aunty Margaret gave me a piece of cake- in return, I have to pick four numbers for her. I have given up gambling- so, I just picked them for her and wished her the best of luck.

To end it all, tell me (in the comments part), how do you feel when you are starting to fell for someone? I have already forgotten what it feels like. Tell me about it.

Okay, it is funny how one’s birthday can give one some pleasant surprises. Say, people you don’t expect to remember your birthday remembering your birthday. And those you expect to remember either getting the date wrong (there are a few already) or totally forgetting about it (wait and see). Okay, I apologise- the birth date on my Friendster was wrong. It has since been corrected. Makes me wonder how I got my own birth date wrong in the first place. I mean, the number 1 and number 7 on my laptop are so far apart! And yes, I feel old. I’ll be twenty-two in no time, yet I feel I have achieved so little, seen so little, made so little a difference to people’s lives. This year, I intend to rectify the second part. The first part, I am still waiting for a call from Sir Alex to team up with Ji Sung and company at Sir Matt Busby Way. Anyway, as for the third part, I feel it’s hard. I feel people do change. And I am no Superman- even if I am, I can save the world, but I cannot make Lois Lane fall in love with me. I feel I will just stick to being filial (whenever I can) to me parent; being on time when going to work and meeting up with my friends (a bike will change all that, I think); and just be more tolerant of others (in other words, hide my emotions better and use less expletives when I am pissed). Less cynical and more sentimental (yeah, right). Give less of a LJB whenever I can (I am born with it). I am sure with all of the above, I will be able to make someone’s life better. No?

I have decided to spend my birthday at home. It’d been so long since I blow out the candles in my own home (blowing out twenty-one candles in Brunei was definitely unforgettable). I will be working on my birthday- I find it no big deal- you don’t grow older on your birthday; you grow older with the greater amount of shit you have been through in your life. Speaking of work, there is this girl aka Aunty. There is something going on about her- I will update when there is any news. It will be an interesting read, I assure you.

Anyway, the best team in the world just lost to Arsenal (you cannot win all the time, can you?). A taste of our own medicine, I guess. And hours ago, Singapore just came from behind to draw 1-1 with our great rivals, Malaysia. It is funny- whenever I watch Singapore play, it reminds me of me and Les’s team playing- we are always one bad tackle from starting a fight (Singapore against Indonesia gave me the exact same sentiments too). Singapore plays like amateurs. I think I have been watching too much of Man United and Barcelona’s matches. Then again, how can you resist beautiful football? (Chelsea fans, are you listening? Time to wake up!)

It has been a week since my last entry, and for the first time in a long time, there isn’t something exciting happening in my life. Seriously. So, I shall let you in on some facts of the week.

After making my third trip to IKEA in as many weeks (both outlets) on Thursday, I have finally gotten everything I wanted to buy from that fantastic place. Everything looks so perfect inside. No dust, no dirt, no nothing. Too perfect, so much so you know it cannot be re-created in any home anywhere else in the world. After which, as I was about to make my way to Sungei Road to check out some cheap stuff there (recommendations by Jeffery), the Heavens unexpectedly opened up. Thus, I decided to go straight to Suntec City to meet up with Ayu (to collect our maps and guides to Hong Kong). Yeah, I am making a trip to Hong Kong in April with Ayu. And I just found out thirty minutes ago (after studying the maps and all), that Hong Kong is one bloody big place. And it has many islands. And the places I want to visit are all over the place (literally). This trip will seriously require good planning. I am sure it will be a good prelude to my Manchester / Merseyside trip at the end of the year (don’t you worry, I will not forget to spit on the great turf of Anfield before it is demolished). Those in my exclusive club will get something from me- I remember those who treated me well clearly; and I remember those who treated me bad even more so. Cheers, suckers!

I then caught the unexpectedly crappy film ‘The Last Dance’. Yes, it was Ayu’s choice of movie (again). ‘Saw 3’ wasn’t as good as I expected too. He makes real bad choices- in movies, and in girls (that’s another story for another day). Anyway, that was the conclusion to my one off day for that bloody week. Just great. I just spent it with a guy and a lousy film. And it was my treat. Even the usually reliable Sakea Sushi was a big big disappointment. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong– Murphy’s Law. Live by it.

Anyway, that’s about it. I feeling abit tipsy (free alcohol at my club is really hard to resist). Goodnight, everyone! But before I go, attached are some interesting news from JB (compare it with the photos in my last entry). Speaking of which, it hasn’t put me off going to JB next week. T.I.M.

Define a date. As in, going on a date. Is it like a guy who is single going out for movie and dinner with another single girl? If you ask me, hell no. I do that with my single (and lonely) female friends all the time. It’s just companionship- someone to talk to over dinner and enjoy a movie with. It is also something I do with my ex’s, just that we do other stuff in the cinemas I don’t usually do with my female friends. So, tell me, what is a date? Well, I am desperate to know, because DT is involved in this lame Singtel’s gimmick called Dream Date 2. And it brought to mind – what exactly is a date? Dream date for me is a certain Lin Chiling feeding me strawberries on the bed while we are talking about the future.

That’s certainly a ‘dream’ date.

It’s been a pretty lousy week for me. Firstly, I started work. Secondly, shanshan is pissed at me for giving a very frank opinion of his team of friends at Sunday soccer. Thirdly, Shrek pissed me off by missing our appointment again. I have lost count- I am beginning to wonder if he is really someone I can rely on. Fourthly, I quarrelled with my mum- I was up watching Prison Break Season One till like two in the morning. I know she meant well, but I need to complete watching the DVDs and return to Les on time. I hate to go back on my words. Speaking of which, watching Prison Break definitely has to be the highlight of my week, or my year, for that matter. It’s one hell of a serial, and very very addictive. It makes me want to get my whole body tattooed. Speaking of which, I am still waiting (after 3 weeks) for A K Leong to bring me to the tattoo parlour- it seems friends cannot be trusted in 2007. Prove me wrong, pals. Prove me wrong.

I am starting to get sick of working at Swiss Club- I am the one with the highest education level there, I worked the hardest, and I am paid one of the least. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I am only working to repay my supervisor’s kindness to me in the past. But gratitude can only carry you so far in life. I need money. I am going to travel a lot this year, and I maybe getting myself a bike. Maybe.

Anyway, I read this really funny article in the International Herald Tribune. It says something like ‘Malaysia is a safe place’. I know, Les and ayu, you both can stop laughing- it’s not a joke. This is a reputable paper and they will not write nonsense. Maybe they did not know a Singaporean was stabbed to death on the streets last week. I mean, I have stated this before in my previous entries- T.I.M. Go figure.

Lastly, David Beckham, who is a big fan of mine (there is no typo, he really is a big fan of mine), is moving to LA Galaxy. It is step down in term of prestige, but in terms of salary, the steps up are so high, David will have trouble seeing the end of the steps. If you don’t already know, he is being paid 492,000 pounds a week to play football in the States. I know, all you Singaporean kids out there with two legs and good looks, burn your books and don your boots!

People say blood is thicker than water, but honestly, I beg to differ. I know for sure that when I am in need, there is at least three friends I can count on being there for me come what may- Shrek, Les and Ayu. Do you have such a friend?

I feel in one’s life, one must have such friends to carry you when you need them. I don’t know why, but I hate to disappoint my friends, especially when they ask me out for a drink, and I am dead beat after work, and I got a soccer game at nine the next morning, I will still drag myself to go. I hate to disappoint my friends. In this matter, I always clash with my mum. I am sure I am not alone.

I have been spending quite a lot the past month for my Christmas and New Year celebration and shopping. My hi-fi, my room décor (for the incredibly cheap IKEA, and I still managed to chalk up two hundred dollars’ worth of products), my new specs (two pairs), upgrading my laptop, JB trips, pubbing/clubbing, I have spend more than two grand. That is why I need to work real hard the next month or so, in order to have a happy birthday and Chinese New Year (to hell with Valentine’s Day, I’m single!). Hence, I have to work and work and work, and I have to miss my Sunday games with Les and co, and I feel real bad. So, it brings me back to the point of disappointing my friends. I hope you guys understand.

Anyway, back to my main topic (read the first sentence of this entry). I cannot stand my sister- the elder of the two. I have tried my best to accommodate her, but her thinking is seriously out of this world. We are too different. I do not wish to wash my dirty linen here, but let’s just put it this way- if she wasn’t my sister, I would have re-arranged her face a long, long time ago.

Anyway, I have really, really given up smoking. I am serious. My smoker friends out there, please, tempt me not.

Alright, first things first, I want to apologise to Ayu and Huimien- sorry for my countless DCs for the past two hours. I cannot help it. I mean, now my dad wants to change from Broadband to Cable, and I can only change in March after my contract ends. Meantime, I have to make do with what I have, that is, only the PC in the sitting room has Broadband connection, and my two fantastically selfish sisters hug the computer 24-7 alternately. So, being the good brother I am, I have to use my laptop, and tap into wireless connections available. Wireless @SG, yeah? So, my connection is unreliable and slow. Therefore, I think what happened tonight was, my friendly neighbour unknowingly placed her cereal bowl in front of the router, and I become DC-King overnight. Cheers!

Anyway, I am starting work in like 10 hours’ time, and I work six days a week, my off day falling on one of the weekdays. So, to Huimien and FLG, let me know earlier when the gathering will be; to Ayu, we will be going JB the Wednesday before my birthday; to Les, Ben the man and Ong Bak, we will be going JB the Friday before Chinese New Year. Okay, contact me yeah, I will be rather busy. I have no idea when my next blog will be. I try to write in once a week to update all my dear fans out there. Love you tons!

Okay, anyway, the JB trip was great. Shopping was fabulously cheap, the movie was a piece of shit, and the seafood dinner was the icing on the cake (like always). I highly recommend JB to all my friends with a tight budget. Just have seven hours of sleep, do your warm-up before leaving home, wear loose clothing and track shoes, and ensure both your legs are working fine! If you ever get chased by the robbers, I am sure you can out-pace them. For extra insurance coverage, ask a friend who cannot run fast to tag along- just outrun your friend and you shall be fine. Like me, that’s why I always invite Les along. Right, Ben? T.I.M (This Is Malaysia, truly Asia…)

Anyway, I need to put a third tattoo real quick. I have been thinking about the design for months and I have finally decided. And I need to pass my Advance Theory Test as soon as possible- I think my dad is serious about buying me a car. He is so desperate for me not to secretly own a bike that he is willingly to buy me a car! I smell a RX-8 coming.

Speaking of cars, Les is acquiring his SUV next week, and our trips to JB will be even more fun. So, ladies, keep yourself free! Anyway, I really got to go. I am seriously working tomorrow. Good morning!

I just caught Confession of Pain, starring me and my good friend Tony. It had given me inspiration to continue the debate of singlehood and being in a relationship. Where should I start? The movie taught that alcohol solves everything. Well, I am enjoying a glass of single-malt whiskey as I type. Why is drinking so enjoyable then? It is exactly because they are hard to swallow that makes them so enjoyable. Bittersweet. Just like being in love, isn’t it? Let us begin.

I was walking out of JP out onto the main roads after seeing Tigress get ferried away (where has all the cabs gone?). I was alone, it was drizzling, and the night was so quiet, the breeze so gentle, the feeling so lonely. It kind of started to get nostalgic. If you don’t already know, my two recent ex both live Jurong area. Memories started flooding back. The good times, and the not so good times. Mostly the former. I admit- nothing in this miserable world beats the feeling of being in love. But, like drinking giving you headaches and hangovers, being in love has its side effects too (nothing in this perfect world is perfect, not even being married to Britney Spears). You have to handle the excess baggage- the crying, the mood swing, the monthly PMS, the jealousy, the male competition (she has to be worth fighting for) and the high maintenance. For girls, they have to handle the LJB, the male ego, the daily request for sex, the jealousy, the female competition (he has to be worth being a bitching for) and the possessiveness. But at the end of the day, both parties had to deal with the change in character. Isn’t that true? We cannot be the jerks/bitches/losers we are and still expect the other party to choose to be in a relationship with us right? The art of deception comes in very handy here. So, the inevitable true colours will emerge with time. That is when the side effects I mentioned kick in, just like when you bought a certain Khalid ‘The Cannibal’ Boulahrouz and gave him the number 9 jersey, only to discover three matches later that he is often left sprawling on the pitch by opposing wingers, nibbling on the soft green grass. The point being, sometimes you feel like you are Britney Spears, like you have been duped into falling for this irritating person. Is that the true meaning of love at first sight? Because I bet if Romeo and Juliet had continued their romance beyond the four days Shakespeare entitled them to, they would have broken up anyway. Same goes for Jack ‘you-jump-I-jump’ Dawson and Rose ‘I’m-so-cold’ Calvert. When it comes to love, don’t believe the movies and the books. And first sight too.

On the other hand, seeing couples walking hand in hand while I was doing my Christmas shopping did actually make me slightly envious. I mean, wouldn’t it be great if your girlfriend actually buy you your favourite shirt when all you have to do is to give her some TLC. Win-win situation, right, guys? Seriously, the holding hand part, I do miss. It kind of sends out a message- you are actually wanted/owned/loved (depends on whose hand you are holding- young hot chick/old woman/your mother, in that order). And it feels good. But, if that is the same hand which is going to slap/pinch/punch you, then no thanks, man.

Actually, Takeshi Louis DT told me something which I never thought any of my male friends would say. He mentioned that he was afraid of commitment, and he is really enjoying his single life now. Because, you see, the male friends I have are either 1) attached, 2) desperately looking for love or 3) gays (actually, this belongs to point one, but it’s different). I feel the same way as TLDT, but I am not as gay as he is. I suspect he is on the brink of being my first bi-sexual friend. Anyway, I was saying, singlehood is great, true love can wait! I am enjoying as much freedom as I can allow myself. The only woman I listen to now is my mum, although not as much as she would like me to. So, things will continue the same way, and no matter what happens, I know she will find me one day. Cheers!

With reference to my previous entry <Friendship>, the cards I mentioned has already been made- at five in the morning. The theme is ‘Without You’. You should receive your card pretty soon. Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year!

By the way, my new film with Tony is out in all Singapore theatres today. Go catch me on screen!

I am home, again. Australia was fun, but more significantly, a breath of fresh air (albeit the air was unhealthily dusty in the Rockhampton region). You know, there are times when you think you have made the right decision, only to wake up the next morning feeling like a total loser. Take for instance, David Beckham’s decision to join his self-proclaimed dream club, Real Madrid Football Club; Britney Spears’ choice of husband (Kevin who-the-fuck-is-he Federline); and maybe also those who voted for PAP, on the account of the fantastically-sounding Progress Package, only to find out many mornings later, the package is being reclaimed by the owner with the introduction of the 7% GST. Are you surprised that shit like those stated above actually happens? I am not. For me, my case was that I was not courageous enough (not un-gentlemanly enough, in my friend’s words) to have asked this Australia girl out. She was there for the taking, my friends say; I say, I shall uphold the good image of Singaporean males and the good name of my family (yeah, right). So, there goes, and the sadder thing is, I know I shall never set foot in Rockhampton Town ever again in my life. If this had happened with a Singaporean girl, there is still a chance I might run into her at the Zoo or something. I am pondering what might have been, but at least I am feeling better, knowing that I am not alone (the smart-ass who thought up Goal2010 and the die-hard supporters of Charlton Athletic Football Club are here with me). Maybe the bunch of NSFs, who cheered as if they are ORD-ing tomorrow when our plane touched down, can also be added to this particular category of human beings (Singapore is not such a nice place to begin with).

As you know, Singaporeans are ugly. I experienced that first hand in Queensland- from the Mister Kaisus who cut queue at the surf shop, to the pea-brain who smoked in the lavatories of our Air New Zealand plane. I cannot say I am proud to be a Singaporean, in that aspect. Anyway, all friends of mine, please follow my example and stop being an ugly Singaporean- Heaven will have a place for you.

I caught the Chelski-Arsenal game at Liquid Kitchen with Shrek and Sasa. The place is nice- I like the seats, though the LCD screens left much to be desired; there is a sweet-looking waitress there, though the air-conditioning is a tad too South Pole like; and the greatest thing about the place was the game itself, though I am smart enough not to be supporters of either clubs on display. To Arsenal fans, I say- you lucky piece of shit. To Chelsea fans, I cry- It has never felt better be a Red Devil fan.

I was drinking on Saturday night too, with my NS mates from Singapore. And I met a common friend I never knew we had, someone I had lost contact with over the years. It can be a really small world sometimes. She is still the same- short, loud, pretty, and her figure is still as good. As I welcome one friend into my friend, I bade farewell to another, fat bastard, who has already began working and studying in Melbourne. You shall always be remembered, Bernard.

I was drinking too on Friday night, in some pitiful pub/club in Rockhampton called Strutter’s. Anyway, it is a night to forget for one too many reasons. My message of the day to all my friends- seize the day, grab that opportunity before you feel like me.

It’s been a long weekend. Too long. More of such nights and I shall really die before I reach 40. Friday night dinner was Tiger, Marlboro and some peanuts. I don’t need to describe further, those people who were in my weekend knows who they are. I had a great time at ES on Saturday night, thanks Mike for the Chivas.

Fat Bastard (Bernard, that’s your nick), my pal, is leaving for Australia. Friends, they come and go. I really need to put in more effort to treasure them, to ensure our friendships last. I have lost too many over the years. My new furniture just arrived Monday evening, and I spent the whole night packing my stuff, sleeping only at nine in the morning. When packing, I came across all the letters I have kept since primary school, which I haven’t had the chance to re-read, till last night that is. It made me realised I have had many close childhood friends, and perhaps due to negligence on my part, our distance have grown so far, too far. To all my friends reading this, past and present, you are always on my mind, more than you think (more than any chick, Lin Chi-ling included); just that we all only have 24 hours, and sometimes, it will feel awkward. But, I do think of you.

Fat Bastard will leave on the 5^th, while I am still in Queensland, but Gerard is back from Australia (yesterday till February), they come and go, I say. So, this Christmas, I have decided to write to all my friends (who I have the addresses), no matter how busy I am. Maybe I should tattoo all their names on my back!

But seriously, Fat Bastard don’t know when is the next time he will be back, but I have already been invited to so smoke weed with him and some Aussie babes in Melbourne.

I will be bringing back some kangaroo meat from Queensland. So, interested friends, contact me on the 10^th. Adios.

Shrek’s girlfriend’s dad just passed away, early hours of Wednesday morning. Car accident.  Frankly, when this sort of shit happens, it puts everything in your life in perspective. It makes my minor financial problem even more minor; it makes my constant bickering with my sister seems trivial; it makes girls and their effect on my life all the more insignificant. It makes you really want to have a drink and think about life. What does life means to you? I mean, I sometimes dream of having my first million, working towards my dream Evolution, fucking my 100^th girl... But when I think it through, what really matters is whether I can stop my squabbling with my sister, quit working so much and just spend some quality time at home with my parents, and making my friendships last a lifetime.

I do not know what your aim in life is, but if it is a car, a fat bank account, a high social status or a hot chick, I can tell you now it is not all worth it. To me, accompanying my dad go fishing on Sunday mornings means so much more. I don’t know how many more Sunday mornings we will have together, seriously. Last night, after going to the wake, I lied in bed, and I just cannot sleep. My mind keeps thinking about shit that can happen to my life, and I feel so vulnerable. Maybe now I can understand why my dad was so insistent on me not getting myself a bike (insistent = over his dead body).

This incident has made Shrek and me closer. And I really don’t wish to lose him as a friend. Because I know I have lost many friends along the way, and I regretted. I am guilty of not putting in enough effort in the past, letting my friends drift away. When you are younger, you think that you will meet many people you can connect with, you will have many close friends. But when you grow up, you realise that there only this handful of people who can understand you, who can share your ups and your downs, who will really be there for you with a phone call. I firmly believe things happen for a reason, and this person you met today did not just cross your path for nothing. You never know. You never know.

Today’s my sister’s 12^th birthday. Just a simple family steamboat followed by the standard cake. But the highlight of the evening has to be the conversation I had with my mum after dinner, over a few glasses of Bailey’s. Never knew I can have such a heart-to-heart talk with her. She talked about her relationship with my dad during courtship, marriage, and now while watching their kids grow up. I begin to understand marriage is a life-long commitment, and it is not as easy as I thought. She told me to treasure my time while I am still single, which I totally agree- keep my options open, when the time comes, settle down. So, the only girl in my life now is my mum- the four words on my back testify to that.

Anyway, after dinner, I did the usual dishes while my dad and sisters try to digest their seafood in front of the television set. Typical family dinner, I have to say. Whoever marries my sisters, he will surely have a hard time- so, you all brothers of mine, you now know why I never recommend you my sisters.

Earlier in the day, I had my usual dose of Sunday morning soccer with Les, Ben and Later (he’s forever late for the game, though the venue is just below his home). We got thrashed by the Commonwealthers, which is as rare as Later scoring a goal nowadays. In fact, Later did score today. Maybe that’s why we lost big-time.

After that, we had lunch together and engaged in some interesting conversation (since I wasn’t working). Of the four of us, only Later is attached, albeit recently so. I find that we guys, we just want to get laid (kind of like American Pie). There is a saying- Any girl who thinks that food is the way to a man’s heart is aiming 6 inches too high. Les is a clubber who dreams of finding the one at Phuture. What are the odds, man? Ben is a soccer fanatic, who dreams about having true love while he wastes his life away in books. Later is an arrogant shit- who talks the talk, but never walk the walk.

For me, my true love remains soccer- because it will never break you heart (maybe it will indirectly cause you to break you leg, but who cares?). Once you love someone, you risk being hurt- I was once told. I cannot agree more.