Finally, some time to be myself. I really enjoyed 25^th March.

Early morning, I was with my family.

Late afternoon, I went JB with Ayu

The night, I spend it with Wina.

The price of not working for one Sunday: S$90

The expenditure for that Sunday: RM$150

The feeling of freedom: Priceless

Some things in life are just more important than money, no?

It’s been so long since I last blogged. No, nothing life-threatening happened to me, just that I have been rather busy. Things did happened in my life, but I simply did not have the time to blog. I am hardly on MSN now-a-nights as I have been working long hours and spending my remaining time planning Operation Ayu (the Hong Kong trip) with Ayu and going out with her. I have been sending her home every night since we were together- am I stupid, or am I really such a good boyfriend? I will come to that later. Anyway, in summary of what happened to me these past weeks – I went to the beach with her (twice!); met up with Ayu countless times and yet our planning is still not up to Michael Scofield’s standard; bought N73 ME, lost it in less than ten days, and bought another one again; quit my job amidst much fury, was asked to go back; passed my final theory test and booked my practical at long last with Will.i.am. So, let’s begin in alphabetical order.

Beach. I don’t really like the sand, but somehow she absolutely loves the beach. So, we have already spent two nights there (in a tent, that is). No, we did not do anything there- far from it actually. Sex is not part of this relationship- I’m serious. We are too different, and I really doubt we can last forever. Anyway, the sunrise never really came and we went home with our bodies aching from spending the night on the uneven sand. I just like to say that we may not last forever, but the memories will be with me forever, and it will be all the more sweeter. It’s like what Achilles once said- the Gods envy us. Why? We are cursed- we humans will all die one day, and we will not be anymore beautiful than we are now. So, the times with her are sweeter than anything because I know after 5^th May, never again will I get to hold her hand on the beach, waiting for the sun to rise. Tragic, but sweet, no?

Final theory test. Well, it was a piece of cake- nowhere near as hard as Ayu say it to be. My practical test is on 27^th August, and my practical lessons with Will.i.am will begin in June. Meantime, I shall polish my already-superb skills on my Gallardo (in Need for Speed).

N73 ME. It breaks my heart blogging about this. I dropped it on a cab, and do not expect anyone to return it- serious. Who in the right mind will return a N73? It’s funny, isn’t it? I have not bought a new phone in three and a half years, and when I finally decide to buy one, I have to buy another one in the space of ten days. But I have only myself to blame- I dropped it, nobody stole it, you know. The day I bought my second N73 ME, I swear to God, I have never, and will never feel worse buying a new phone.

Operation Ayu. Well, it is in the closing stages- the first seven days of our eleven-day trip has already been finalised. We just need to finalise the remaining days in Causeway Bay and Central. The tickets has been booked, the rooms has been booked, the maps have been printed, the routes planned. We are going to be fine.

Quitting my job. Well, I quit the way I have always dreamed of. I had a disagreement with my Supervisor, and I asked her if she still trust me in doing a good job, she said she wasn’t sure, and I left my badge on her table, punched my card, and threw my uniform on the table. I went upstairs and told Wina about it. Then I said goodbye to all my friends there, and prepared to leave. I decided to leave on a good note, since my Supervisor has been a real nice lady to me when I was there, and the reason for our disagreement was the work of some backstabbing colleagues. So, I went up to her and thank her. There, she told me she never wanted me to quit. I said, I couldn’t work for someone who doesn’t trust me. She replied that she trust me, it’s just that she needed time to think things through. She said she wanted me to stay, but I told her I needed time to think things through too, and I took the next day off. She told me to call her if I wanted to return. So, I discussed it with Wina, and I decided to stay- for her and her alone. If I am gone, I am sure her days will be harder. Well, that’s about it, and now, I have gained the respect of the others. From the start, I don’t need this job to survive. The backstabbers don’t understand- I have no house loans, no car, no kids, no nothing to repay every month. I am working for my holidays and some extra cash to spend in JB. So, a step back for two steps forward. But, mark my words, the next time I quit, I will never return.

Wina. I love her, and I don’t know why I do. She is not the type of girl I want or need, yet I loved her with all my heart. I have always asked myself why, but I cannot find an answer. It’s just amazing, this thing called love. It has no reason, and it is completely illogical.

5^th of May. Cry me a river.

It has been three weeks, coming to four now. And no, I have not grown tired of being with her (surprised, no?). What’s there to blog about my life now except her? My time is spent working, seeing her and whatever little time left is saved for planning the Hong Kong trip with Ayu. Now, you all know why I haven’t been able to display my soccer skills lately. Sorry, I really love to (you all know soccer is my life), but right now, there is more to life than soccer.

Anyway, she has changed (I knew it, I just knew it). The gentleness and understanding has been missing lately. She has quite a temper, and she is the type who does not try very hard at making up for her mistakes (a couple of sorrys are all she can offer). She is oh so very shy. How shy? Let’s just say I have never met anyone shyer (yes, Microsoft Word tells me there is such a word) than her? And her extraordinary forgetfulness has caused a few problems already– namely, misplacing some stuff I gave her, losing her third Ez-link card, and lastly (most significantly), her work permit. From these, I have no doubt in my mind it is only a matter of time before she forgets me once she returns to Bali. But, it’s okay. Love doesn’t have to last forever, does it?

After SY and BY, I have learnt many things. One thing is to be able to let go, two is to never love her more than she loves you. Being with her also made me realise that the only girl so far who really, truly understood me was SY. I hope she takes it as a compliment, but it is the truth. Just too bad I couldn’t understand her enough then (we lose, we learn).

But, I can see she loves me more than anything in the world. She keeps wanting to see me, and I always try my best to accommodate her. It is not that I don’t like to see her, it’s just that, you know, I am one who prefers to have my own time too, for my other stuff. Therefore, this Saturday I have planned watching soccer with Ayu, Les and Ben the Man at liquid kitchen. I feel I deserve as much, no?

I really need to work- Hong Kong is becoming more expensive than we first thought. The air tickets and our identical Amazing-Race-bag alone already sets us back half a grand. My new passport cost me another seventy bucks. Our projected accommodation budget will be another two hundred dollars. Payment will be due this weekend. Backpacking doesn’t look so cheap now, does it? And the planning alone, God, it’s killing me. I mean, I do not like to leave things to chance, so I intend to plan everything to the finest detail (I almost wanted tattoo all the maps and telephone numbers on my body a-la Michael Scofield). The web has been useful in some ways, and thoroughly useless in others. I got to rely on information from Ayu, my own research and the pamphlets and map we got from travel agencies. I tell you, it’s harder than planning to break out from prison. I am going bald over it. Wish me luck.