Below are resolutions for the year 2008.

#1 Learn to be honest with myself- stop fooling around and giving girls the wrong idea. It’s about time I start to take relationships seriously, and give up the bad boy image. Well, I know that girls only flirt (and sometimes sleep) with the bad boys, but they don’t bring them home to see their parents- well, they only marry the good ones. So perhaps it’s time I learn to be a good boy and get myself ready (mentally, physically, emotionally) for a real relationship. I do want to fall in love (who doesn’t?), it’s just that I keep telling myself I am not ready. Or am I?

Resolution #1- I have absolutely no idea what I was writing about. I must have been drunk when I typed that sh*t. 

#2 Quit smoking once and for all, and never ever use alcohol or Miss Y as excuses again. It is all in the mind!

I have failed, but only partially. I know that even one puff amounts to absolute failure, but please allow me to explain. I have only had eleven cigarettes in total for the year of 2008 (by the way, not once did I purchase a pack of cigarettes), and all of them were due to a combination of Sheena’s white-tigress-ish looks and Tattoo Girl’s unpredictable attitude. Plus, schoolwork has been up to my neck since like September- so it is no coincidence I only started smoking for the last three months of the year.

#3 Prove my prophecy wrong.

Only my mum and JT know what it is. I think SY knows as well, but I cannot be sure. This prophecy does not apply to me yet, at least not at this stage of my life. I simply wrote it down to make up the numbers.

#4 Get over Miss Y. I’m sure it’ll be kind of hard, but I have 366 days to do it- time is on my side.

Oh hell yes I got over Miss Y (absence makes the heart dick not remember).

#5 Make sure Des Out’08 takes place- I’m serious. It is number five on my New Year’s resolutions- it’s that significant to me.

I am proud to say I totally made it happen.

#6 Get fit, and keep fit. I already possess the leg-breaking skills of Joey Barton, and all I need now is to attain his immense stamina in order to be mentioned in the same breathe as him.

Another fulfilled resolution- I have worked out for about eleven months now, and I have put on slightly more than eight kilograms. And no, not all of it goes between my legs, faggots.

#7 Start saving some money for rainy days- never know when I will actually become a father.

I have succeeded as well, and it is mainly due to my diligence in giving tuition- the money’s easy and the money’s good.

#8 Grow taller- I am actually three (yes, three!) centimetres shorter than Maria Sharapova. And I thought I was tall. Damn.

I admit I wrote this to fill up space, and also partly to laugh at midgets like Ayu and Aaron Lennon. Eat that, hobbits.

#9 Stop laughing at Liverpool fans, and instead, try to understand the torture they have to go through every time they see Peter I-prove-a-giraffe-can-tackle Crouch and Dirk I-am-Superman-flying-backwards Kuyt in their jerseys.

I swear I really tried to cut down on my mocking, but I just cannot help myself. Dosshitna and Plesshits were seriously too good to resist. I am sorry, Liverpussies.

#10 Study hard (you can start laughing now).

I remember cracking my head trying to find a tenth resolution, and I finally decided on this one plainly for comic effect. Little did I know, it f*cking happened. I am now GuangHui the nerd. Totally. What the f*ck?

[Click here for 2007’s edition]

Time f*cking flies

I know I always b*tch about time flying and everything, but honestly, this year has passed exceptionally fast. Everything happened so quickly, the past 366 days have been nothing but a blur, and events like Des Out’07 and my primary school reunion party which all took place a year ago seems to me they only happened last week. I can still remember vividly the familiar faces and the unforgettable conversations. JJ remarked that the reason was because we were all getting older now and hence, busier with our day-to-day lives and thus time quietly passes us by. Well, the only way to test his hypothesis is to look back in ten years’ time and see for ourselves, isn’t it? Then again, I seriously wonder if this blog can last the next ten years, and if those people reading this now will still be reading it in 2018.

America is colour blind

And I thought they were more racist than sexist. But they proved me wrong once again, and I have to say I respect them for it. Less than half century after Martin Luther King uttered those famous words “I have a dream”, his dream was somewhat fulfilled by this inspiring Harvard law graduate who goes by the name Barack Hussein Obama- Change We Can Believe In.

2008 has been a rather educational year

For investors and the public in general, we all got to learn the meaning to terms we normally would not give a sh*t about such as ‘credit event’, ‘collateralised debt obligations’ and ‘Richard motherf*cker Fuld’. Small mercies, if you ask me.

Oil prices are as about as predictable as the mood of your girlfriend

A record USD$147 in July, now a mere USD$43- a threefold drop in less than six months. Personally, I very much prefer oil prices to be high (sh*t you not) purely because it is the single most effective catalyst for humankind to start investing in green energy and sh*t before it is all too late. Remember money can never be eaten.

I can be whatever I want (more specifically, a nerd)

Impossible as it may sound, I have become a total nerd. I actually prefer studying to doing a lot of other things (say, hanging out with deluded paedophiles et cetera). Now, what the f*ck happened to me?

You don’t have to be short to be a record-breaking sprinter

Two words- Usain Bolt.

Liverpool fans are total hypocrites

In front of you, they will tell you sh*t like they are only leading the table purely on luck alone and they will never ever win the EPL. But when Ryan Babel scored the winning goal against us at Anfield, I received 55 messages from the very same two-faced c*nts proclaiming this is their year and they are going to kick our asses for the next century. Dream on, Liverpussies.

I am incapable of loving a girl more than I love myself

Well, after following my blog for the past year, you should have been bright enough (unless you are deluded) to come to the same conclusion as I did. Tattoo Girl, Sheena and Miss Y are nothing compared to the most important person in my life- myself.

So, Des Out 2008 was pretty much a success, and although we invited less people this time round, it was still as much fun. I am still in the process of gathering the assorted photographs from the party and all I have is only a video of five wasted guys with me as Edison Chen which is totally NSFW and definitely not suitable for your innocent eyes. Anyway, this and this were what happened last year.

The 24^th of December for the past three years has been spent at DT’s without fail, and this year was no different. It has somehow become of a routine now, you know, I sleep over at his place once a year, use his toilet, drink his whiskey, mess up his kitchen, and his mum sees me like once a year but never seems to be able to recognise me. Well, this year, we decided not to cook and it was a potluck event. So, I woke up at seven on Christmas’ eve and did my GTO impersonation before meeting up with DT at the gym. I have not seen him for a year now but like always, he has changed. He is less full-of-shit, cut down on his little boyish ways and become somewhat more dependable. He has truly aged, and so have I.

We had sushi for lunch and we talked (a lot) like always, and as each year passes, our conversation becomes deeper and deeper. Sh*t-stirring and insult-trading are rarer these days, and we talked more about our dreams, our goals and our loves. And like always, our views are not very far apart- I have always felt he was like a little brother to me, someone whom I see most part of me in. Then again, we do have our disagreements- we both believe love is the last thing we need now at this stage of our lives, but he still believes that one day, he will find his true love while I believe I will marry whoever is the mother of my kid, period. And I will marry no earlier than 35, while he does not believe in setting a time-frame for such things and proceeded to spend thirty minutes trying to change my mind but to no avail- we are both stubborn in our own little way.

And so we talked about our immediate future and priorities, and we both have a common goal- our studies. And he gave me this really helpful piece of advice- my goals and dreams give me my drive in life, but Sheena, Tattoo Girl and Miss Y my friends and family are the ones who keep me alive. He told me to concentrate on my sh*t (studies, reading, working out, giving tuition et cetera), but at the same time, I must learn to step away from all these and live life a little. I admit I am very much a loner (I enjoy being alone and doing things on my own), he suggested I keep a close circle of friends and spend more time with my family. And yeah, I felt he was totally spot on- just because my friends have different goals in life (getting laid, underage girls, Christianity, EPL delusion syndrome, DOTA et cetera) does not make them any less of a friend. So yes, that will definitely be one of my New Year resolutions.

Anyway, some things shall remain between us, and let me just say I wish him all the best in his search for whatever he is looking for. So after lunch, we headed back to his place, set up the Christmas tree and waited for the guests to arrive. And surprise surprise, most of them actually managed to arrive on time. This bunch of guys are like totally ‘weird’- they are all Shrek’s and DT’s friends from PSS, and I only meet them like once a year for Christmas (I have their Facebook but not their number) but yet the moment you whip out some whiskey, we become BFF in no time. Well, the wonders of alcohol.

The party ended at four in the morning (slightly earlier than usual) and they all headed back home. Due to some undesirable personal (don’t ask), I rejected Shrek’s offer of sharing a cab home. I stayed on, pretended to be Cinderella for a while, had a good long bath and took the first bus home. Well, that was my Christmas.

Happy Boxing Day!

Spotted hand-in-hand together in Milan…Poor Victoria!

But I have to say they do make a great couple. 

Dead bird posing…

All week, I was looking forward to seeing Tattoo Girl, but she did not show for marketing on Wednesday evening. I know all of you expect me to be heart-broken and sh*t like that, even I expected myself to be sad to core. But to tell you the truth, somehow I just wasn’t. No sh*t, I was perfectly fine, and if there was anything different, it was my higher level of concentration during lecture. I mean, I do miss talking to her and everything, but I wasn’t upset like I thought I would be- there is just this ‘Edison’ part of me that refuses to let myself dwell in my sorrow. Honestly, I cannot f*cking believe I treated her absence like nothing. If it was the old GuangHui, he would in all probability left the lecture halfway, get changed and proceed on to Phuture for some alcohol and indulge in some self-pity in hope of finding some pussy tender-loving care. But no, this is GH version 2.0, and he would not let his emotions get affected by some chick he barely knows, and I wonder if I should be glad or sad by this change in me.

Well, I should be glad as I am better off as a person, you know, being able to control my emotions better and not letting things get to me easily- this would serve me well in my future employment. On the other hand, I should feel sad simply for the fact that I am no longer the young, passionate boy I used to be. Is this how them adults love? If this is the case, it is so f*cking sad, I tell you. Then again, the problem may lie with Tattoo Girl herself- perhaps this goes to show that she is not my Juliet, but rather, just another Rosaline.

All right, let us stop talking about Tattoo Girl already- I know you all have been suffering from an overdose of her lately. So where was I? I did not see Miss Y, and neither did I see Sheena- apparently they gave class a miss and went on holidays, but who cares? Certainly not me. Anyway, this week’s Gossip Girl is fanta-bulous! Who in the world would have thought Blair could actually muster up the courage to say the three magical words? I totally applaud her for her balls (or the female-equivalent), and I was kind of expecting Chuck to say what he said “Well, that’s too bad.” Chuck is so like me- just incapable of giving ourselves to another person, forever loving ourselves more than any one in the world, even the true love of our lives. Sad, but true.

Speaking of which, Les is like the total opposite- in him, I see a little bit of the old GuangHui, a boy who is willing to do anything in the world and ask for nothing in return. For that, I applaud him, even if he gets his heart broken to the point of no return. Anyway, he is in a total mess right now, and I would like to tell him that no matter what sh*t I used to mess him up the other night over supper (while he was pouring his heart out to us), deep down I wish him all the best, because he deserves something for his effort. Well, let us end this entry with these enchanting words from Yvaine to Tristan (‘Stardust’)-

“So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I'd know it for myself. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it's trying to escape because it doesn't belong to me anymore. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”

Just your heart, in exchange for mine. Bullsh*t.