I just caught Confession of Pain, starring me and my good friend Tony. It had given me inspiration to continue the debate of singlehood and being in a relationship. Where should I start? The movie taught that alcohol solves everything. Well, I am enjoying a glass of single-malt whiskey as I type. Why is drinking so enjoyable then? It is exactly because they are hard to swallow that makes them so enjoyable. Bittersweet. Just like being in love, isn’t it? Let us begin.

I was walking out of JP out onto the main roads after seeing Tigress get ferried away (where has all the cabs gone?). I was alone, it was drizzling, and the night was so quiet, the breeze so gentle, the feeling so lonely. It kind of started to get nostalgic. If you don’t already know, my two recent ex both live Jurong area. Memories started flooding back. The good times, and the not so good times. Mostly the former. I admit- nothing in this miserable world beats the feeling of being in love. But, like drinking giving you headaches and hangovers, being in love has its side effects too (nothing in this perfect world is perfect, not even being married to Britney Spears). You have to handle the excess baggage- the crying, the mood swing, the monthly PMS, the jealousy, the male competition (she has to be worth fighting for) and the high maintenance. For girls, they have to handle the LJB, the male ego, the daily request for sex, the jealousy, the female competition (he has to be worth being a bitching for) and the possessiveness. But at the end of the day, both parties had to deal with the change in character. Isn’t that true? We cannot be the jerks/bitches/losers we are and still expect the other party to choose to be in a relationship with us right? The art of deception comes in very handy here. So, the inevitable true colours will emerge with time. That is when the side effects I mentioned kick in, just like when you bought a certain Khalid ‘The Cannibal’ Boulahrouz and gave him the number 9 jersey, only to discover three matches later that he is often left sprawling on the pitch by opposing wingers, nibbling on the soft green grass. The point being, sometimes you feel like you are Britney Spears, like you have been duped into falling for this irritating person. Is that the true meaning of love at first sight? Because I bet if Romeo and Juliet had continued their romance beyond the four days Shakespeare entitled them to, they would have broken up anyway. Same goes for Jack ‘you-jump-I-jump’ Dawson and Rose ‘I’m-so-cold’ Calvert. When it comes to love, don’t believe the movies and the books. And first sight too.

On the other hand, seeing couples walking hand in hand while I was doing my Christmas shopping did actually make me slightly envious. I mean, wouldn’t it be great if your girlfriend actually buy you your favourite shirt when all you have to do is to give her some TLC. Win-win situation, right, guys? Seriously, the holding hand part, I do miss. It kind of sends out a message- you are actually wanted/owned/loved (depends on whose hand you are holding- young hot chick/old woman/your mother, in that order). And it feels good. But, if that is the same hand which is going to slap/pinch/punch you, then no thanks, man.

Actually, Takeshi Louis DT told me something which I never thought any of my male friends would say. He mentioned that he was afraid of commitment, and he is really enjoying his single life now. Because, you see, the male friends I have are either 1) attached, 2) desperately looking for love or 3) gays (actually, this belongs to point one, but it’s different). I feel the same way as TLDT, but I am not as gay as he is. I suspect he is on the brink of being my first bi-sexual friend. Anyway, I was saying, singlehood is great, true love can wait! I am enjoying as much freedom as I can allow myself. The only woman I listen to now is my mum, although not as much as she would like me to. So, things will continue the same way, and no matter what happens, I know she will find me one day. Cheers!

With reference to my previous entry <Friendship>, the cards I mentioned has already been made- at five in the morning. The theme is ‘Without You’. You should receive your card pretty soon. Merry Belated Christmas and a Happy New Year!

By the way, my new film with Tony is out in all Singapore theatres today. Go catch me on screen!

I am home, again. Australia was fun, but more significantly, a breath of fresh air (albeit the air was unhealthily dusty in the Rockhampton region). You know, there are times when you think you have made the right decision, only to wake up the next morning feeling like a total loser. Take for instance, David Beckham’s decision to join his self-proclaimed dream club, Real Madrid Football Club; Britney Spears’ choice of husband (Kevin who-the-fuck-is-he Federline); and maybe also those who voted for PAP, on the account of the fantastically-sounding Progress Package, only to find out many mornings later, the package is being reclaimed by the owner with the introduction of the 7% GST. Are you surprised that shit like those stated above actually happens? I am not. For me, my case was that I was not courageous enough (not un-gentlemanly enough, in my friend’s words) to have asked this Australia girl out. She was there for the taking, my friends say; I say, I shall uphold the good image of Singaporean males and the good name of my family (yeah, right). So, there goes, and the sadder thing is, I know I shall never set foot in Rockhampton Town ever again in my life. If this had happened with a Singaporean girl, there is still a chance I might run into her at the Zoo or something. I am pondering what might have been, but at least I am feeling better, knowing that I am not alone (the smart-ass who thought up Goal2010 and the die-hard supporters of Charlton Athletic Football Club are here with me). Maybe the bunch of NSFs, who cheered as if they are ORD-ing tomorrow when our plane touched down, can also be added to this particular category of human beings (Singapore is not such a nice place to begin with).

As you know, Singaporeans are ugly. I experienced that first hand in Queensland- from the Mister Kaisus who cut queue at the surf shop, to the pea-brain who smoked in the lavatories of our Air New Zealand plane. I cannot say I am proud to be a Singaporean, in that aspect. Anyway, all friends of mine, please follow my example and stop being an ugly Singaporean- Heaven will have a place for you.

I caught the Chelski-Arsenal game at Liquid Kitchen with Shrek and Sasa. The place is nice- I like the seats, though the LCD screens left much to be desired; there is a sweet-looking waitress there, though the air-conditioning is a tad too South Pole like; and the greatest thing about the place was the game itself, though I am smart enough not to be supporters of either clubs on display. To Arsenal fans, I say- you lucky piece of shit. To Chelsea fans, I cry- It has never felt better be a Red Devil fan.

I was drinking on Saturday night too, with my NS mates from Singapore. And I met a common friend I never knew we had, someone I had lost contact with over the years. It can be a really small world sometimes. She is still the same- short, loud, pretty, and her figure is still as good. As I welcome one friend into my friend, I bade farewell to another, fat bastard, who has already began working and studying in Melbourne. You shall always be remembered, Bernard.

I was drinking too on Friday night, in some pitiful pub/club in Rockhampton called Strutter’s. Anyway, it is a night to forget for one too many reasons. My message of the day to all my friends- seize the day, grab that opportunity before you feel like me.