Our first date did not go exactly as planned. Unfortunately, my constant assumption of the high maintenance of girls is starting to be proven right. Again.

Let lips do what hands do.

Then move not, while my prayer’s effect I take.

Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged.

Our lips did what our hands did, and for the first time after, I felt uncertainty. Uncertainty for our future.

Too early seen unknown, and known too late.

A part of me is thinking- how will these all end? I can only say hurt and tears will not be far away.

All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away;
All this time you were pretending,
So much for my happy ending.

Another part of me is thinking- who says love has to last forever?

A moment like this, some people wait a lifetime;
For a moment like this, some people search forever.
For that one special kiss,
Oh I can’t believe it’s happening to me.
Some people wait a lifetime, for a moment like this.

God help me.

How do you usually spend your birthday? Well, I spent it at home this year- where I truly belong. You see, my 21^st birthday was spent among fellow soldiers in the wonderful Negara Brunei Darussalam; 20^th birthday was with a bunch of friends along Orchard Road; 19^th birthday was with my ex-girlfriend at the Istana Park; 18^th birthday was with my other ex-girlfriend (I totally forget where). So, it’s been five years since I have blown out the candles at home in the company of my loved ones. It feels so different, and considering my last birthday, makes me feel so lucky. Treasure your family- they will not be with you forever.

Anyway, on Wednesday, I was out in JB with Les and Ayu. Yeah, you read right- a thrashing-talking Liverpool fanatic, an Arsenal right-wing extremist and a peace-loving Man United fan made the trip across the causeway together. Unbelievable, no? If something happens, I wouldn’t know which one of them to count on. Well, we went for the RM6.00 movie (that is the sole reason why we always plan our trips on Wednesday), which turned out to be a great movie (Flyboys was simply awesome at an equally awesome price). Lunch was McDonald’s- smuggled into the theatres. After that, we walked around, window-shopping (there was no sale- damn), before making our way to Holiday Plaza to get our hair done. First time in my life I got my hair dyed (Don’t you laugh- have you ever had a Mohawk haircut before?) It took two bloody hours, thanks to Leslie’s great Allen Iverson braiding. It turned out like shit anyway- I will make sure my future braiding looks better than his does. Anyway, I thought Ayu looked fine (for a change). I hate my dyed hair– I do not like the feel of it. My original hair was so soft and smooth. I regretted going to the salon. Dinner was at KFC- I have to say it tastes better over on this side of the causeway. We bought some DVDs (Prison Break Season II for me) and we made our way back. Well, just let me say this first- those losers who have never caught Prison Break don’t know what they are missing out on in life. It is so captivating, and it even inspires me to get another tattoo (speaking of which, I am so sorry, A K, that I cannot make it this Saturday- I really wish to have my tattoo done, but I got to work). Wait, I almost forgot- I bought a RM500 painting of Audrey Hepburn. I don’t know why I did it. I was just looking at some movie posters (RM39.90) to decorate my wall. Then I chance upon that particular picture, and I simply cannot take my eyes off it. Damn. But I think it will be money well spent. Anyway, Leslie was asking me and Ayu to go Phuture with him, Ben the man and Ong Bak. But it just didn’t work out in the end.

Ayu proceeded to my house where we spent the night together. Yeah, you read right- together. Initially, we intended to plan our trip to Hong Kong (aka Operation Ayu); however, it became a talk-cock and look-at-music-collection session. It felt good, falling asleep with your good buddy beside you (let me clarify, he is on a mattress on the floor while I was on my bed). We talked about old times before falling asleep. Memories came flooding back…

The next morning, I went to BBDC to book my Advance Theory Test at eight in the morning. It will be on 12^th March. Tell me why should I not be pissed- I have a Brunei Class 3 license and a SAF military Class 3 license- yet I cannot drive legally on the streets. There really is no God.

Went to work today- my colleagues wished me happy birthday and stuff. Aunty Margaret gave me a piece of cake- in return, I have to pick four numbers for her. I have given up gambling- so, I just picked them for her and wished her the best of luck.

To end it all, tell me (in the comments part), how do you feel when you are starting to fell for someone? I have already forgotten what it feels like. Tell me about it.

Okay, it is funny how one’s birthday can give one some pleasant surprises. Say, people you don’t expect to remember your birthday remembering your birthday. And those you expect to remember either getting the date wrong (there are a few already) or totally forgetting about it (wait and see). Okay, I apologise- the birth date on my Friendster was wrong. It has since been corrected. Makes me wonder how I got my own birth date wrong in the first place. I mean, the number 1 and number 7 on my laptop are so far apart! And yes, I feel old. I’ll be twenty-two in no time, yet I feel I have achieved so little, seen so little, made so little a difference to people’s lives. This year, I intend to rectify the second part. The first part, I am still waiting for a call from Sir Alex to team up with Ji Sung and company at Sir Matt Busby Way. Anyway, as for the third part, I feel it’s hard. I feel people do change. And I am no Superman- even if I am, I can save the world, but I cannot make Lois Lane fall in love with me. I feel I will just stick to being filial (whenever I can) to me parent; being on time when going to work and meeting up with my friends (a bike will change all that, I think); and just be more tolerant of others (in other words, hide my emotions better and use less expletives when I am pissed). Less cynical and more sentimental (yeah, right). Give less of a LJB whenever I can (I am born with it). I am sure with all of the above, I will be able to make someone’s life better. No?

I have decided to spend my birthday at home. It’d been so long since I blow out the candles in my own home (blowing out twenty-one candles in Brunei was definitely unforgettable). I will be working on my birthday- I find it no big deal- you don’t grow older on your birthday; you grow older with the greater amount of shit you have been through in your life. Speaking of work, there is this girl aka Aunty. There is something going on about her- I will update when there is any news. It will be an interesting read, I assure you.

Anyway, the best team in the world just lost to Arsenal (you cannot win all the time, can you?). A taste of our own medicine, I guess. And hours ago, Singapore just came from behind to draw 1-1 with our great rivals, Malaysia. It is funny- whenever I watch Singapore play, it reminds me of me and Les’s team playing- we are always one bad tackle from starting a fight (Singapore against Indonesia gave me the exact same sentiments too). Singapore plays like amateurs. I think I have been watching too much of Man United and Barcelona’s matches. Then again, how can you resist beautiful football? (Chelsea fans, are you listening? Time to wake up!)

It has been a week since my last entry, and for the first time in a long time, there isn’t something exciting happening in my life. Seriously. So, I shall let you in on some facts of the week.

After making my third trip to IKEA in as many weeks (both outlets) on Thursday, I have finally gotten everything I wanted to buy from that fantastic place. Everything looks so perfect inside. No dust, no dirt, no nothing. Too perfect, so much so you know it cannot be re-created in any home anywhere else in the world. After which, as I was about to make my way to Sungei Road to check out some cheap stuff there (recommendations by Jeffery), the Heavens unexpectedly opened up. Thus, I decided to go straight to Suntec City to meet up with Ayu (to collect our maps and guides to Hong Kong). Yeah, I am making a trip to Hong Kong in April with Ayu. And I just found out thirty minutes ago (after studying the maps and all), that Hong Kong is one bloody big place. And it has many islands. And the places I want to visit are all over the place (literally). This trip will seriously require good planning. I am sure it will be a good prelude to my Manchester / Merseyside trip at the end of the year (don’t you worry, I will not forget to spit on the great turf of Anfield before it is demolished). Those in my exclusive club will get something from me- I remember those who treated me well clearly; and I remember those who treated me bad even more so. Cheers, suckers!

I then caught the unexpectedly crappy film ‘The Last Dance’. Yes, it was Ayu’s choice of movie (again). ‘Saw 3’ wasn’t as good as I expected too. He makes real bad choices- in movies, and in girls (that’s another story for another day). Anyway, that was the conclusion to my one off day for that bloody week. Just great. I just spent it with a guy and a lousy film. And it was my treat. Even the usually reliable Sakea Sushi was a big big disappointment. Everything that can go wrong will go wrong– Murphy’s Law. Live by it.

Anyway, that’s about it. I feeling abit tipsy (free alcohol at my club is really hard to resist). Goodnight, everyone! But before I go, attached are some interesting news from JB (compare it with the photos in my last entry). Speaking of which, it hasn’t put me off going to JB next week. T.I.M.

Define a date. As in, going on a date. Is it like a guy who is single going out for movie and dinner with another single girl? If you ask me, hell no. I do that with my single (and lonely) female friends all the time. It’s just companionship- someone to talk to over dinner and enjoy a movie with. It is also something I do with my ex’s, just that we do other stuff in the cinemas I don’t usually do with my female friends. So, tell me, what is a date? Well, I am desperate to know, because DT is involved in this lame Singtel’s gimmick called Dream Date 2. And it brought to mind – what exactly is a date? Dream date for me is a certain Lin Chiling feeding me strawberries on the bed while we are talking about the future.

That’s certainly a ‘dream’ date.

It’s been a pretty lousy week for me. Firstly, I started work. Secondly, shanshan is pissed at me for giving a very frank opinion of his team of friends at Sunday soccer. Thirdly, Shrek pissed me off by missing our appointment again. I have lost count- I am beginning to wonder if he is really someone I can rely on. Fourthly, I quarrelled with my mum- I was up watching Prison Break Season One till like two in the morning. I know she meant well, but I need to complete watching the DVDs and return to Les on time. I hate to go back on my words. Speaking of which, watching Prison Break definitely has to be the highlight of my week, or my year, for that matter. It’s one hell of a serial, and very very addictive. It makes me want to get my whole body tattooed. Speaking of which, I am still waiting (after 3 weeks) for A K Leong to bring me to the tattoo parlour- it seems friends cannot be trusted in 2007. Prove me wrong, pals. Prove me wrong.

I am starting to get sick of working at Swiss Club- I am the one with the highest education level there, I worked the hardest, and I am paid one of the least. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I am only working to repay my supervisor’s kindness to me in the past. But gratitude can only carry you so far in life. I need money. I am going to travel a lot this year, and I maybe getting myself a bike. Maybe.

Anyway, I read this really funny article in the International Herald Tribune. It says something like ‘Malaysia is a safe place’. I know, Les and ayu, you both can stop laughing- it’s not a joke. This is a reputable paper and they will not write nonsense. Maybe they did not know a Singaporean was stabbed to death on the streets last week. I mean, I have stated this before in my previous entries- T.I.M. Go figure.

Lastly, David Beckham, who is a big fan of mine (there is no typo, he really is a big fan of mine), is moving to LA Galaxy. It is step down in term of prestige, but in terms of salary, the steps up are so high, David will have trouble seeing the end of the steps. If you don’t already know, he is being paid 492,000 pounds a week to play football in the States. I know, all you Singaporean kids out there with two legs and good looks, burn your books and don your boots!

People say blood is thicker than water, but honestly, I beg to differ. I know for sure that when I am in need, there is at least three friends I can count on being there for me come what may- Shrek, Les and Ayu. Do you have such a friend?

I feel in one’s life, one must have such friends to carry you when you need them. I don’t know why, but I hate to disappoint my friends, especially when they ask me out for a drink, and I am dead beat after work, and I got a soccer game at nine the next morning, I will still drag myself to go. I hate to disappoint my friends. In this matter, I always clash with my mum. I am sure I am not alone.

I have been spending quite a lot the past month for my Christmas and New Year celebration and shopping. My hi-fi, my room décor (for the incredibly cheap IKEA, and I still managed to chalk up two hundred dollars’ worth of products), my new specs (two pairs), upgrading my laptop, JB trips, pubbing/clubbing, I have spend more than two grand. That is why I need to work real hard the next month or so, in order to have a happy birthday and Chinese New Year (to hell with Valentine’s Day, I’m single!). Hence, I have to work and work and work, and I have to miss my Sunday games with Les and co, and I feel real bad. So, it brings me back to the point of disappointing my friends. I hope you guys understand.

Anyway, back to my main topic (read the first sentence of this entry). I cannot stand my sister- the elder of the two. I have tried my best to accommodate her, but her thinking is seriously out of this world. We are too different. I do not wish to wash my dirty linen here, but let’s just put it this way- if she wasn’t my sister, I would have re-arranged her face a long, long time ago.

Anyway, I have really, really given up smoking. I am serious. My smoker friends out there, please, tempt me not.

Alright, first things first, I want to apologise to Ayu and Huimien- sorry for my countless DCs for the past two hours. I cannot help it. I mean, now my dad wants to change from Broadband to Cable, and I can only change in March after my contract ends. Meantime, I have to make do with what I have, that is, only the PC in the sitting room has Broadband connection, and my two fantastically selfish sisters hug the computer 24-7 alternately. So, being the good brother I am, I have to use my laptop, and tap into wireless connections available. Wireless @SG, yeah? So, my connection is unreliable and slow. Therefore, I think what happened tonight was, my friendly neighbour unknowingly placed her cereal bowl in front of the router, and I become DC-King overnight. Cheers!

Anyway, I am starting work in like 10 hours’ time, and I work six days a week, my off day falling on one of the weekdays. So, to Huimien and FLG, let me know earlier when the gathering will be; to Ayu, we will be going JB the Wednesday before my birthday; to Les, Ben the man and Ong Bak, we will be going JB the Friday before Chinese New Year. Okay, contact me yeah, I will be rather busy. I have no idea when my next blog will be. I try to write in once a week to update all my dear fans out there. Love you tons!

Okay, anyway, the JB trip was great. Shopping was fabulously cheap, the movie was a piece of shit, and the seafood dinner was the icing on the cake (like always). I highly recommend JB to all my friends with a tight budget. Just have seven hours of sleep, do your warm-up before leaving home, wear loose clothing and track shoes, and ensure both your legs are working fine! If you ever get chased by the robbers, I am sure you can out-pace them. For extra insurance coverage, ask a friend who cannot run fast to tag along- just outrun your friend and you shall be fine. Like me, that’s why I always invite Les along. Right, Ben? T.I.M (This Is Malaysia, truly Asia…)

Anyway, I need to put a third tattoo real quick. I have been thinking about the design for months and I have finally decided. And I need to pass my Advance Theory Test as soon as possible- I think my dad is serious about buying me a car. He is so desperate for me not to secretly own a bike that he is willingly to buy me a car! I smell a RX-8 coming.

Speaking of cars, Les is acquiring his SUV next week, and our trips to JB will be even more fun. So, ladies, keep yourself free! Anyway, I really got to go. I am seriously working tomorrow. Good morning!